Your secrets are always safe with me. ", If someone is trying to insult you fire back with, "I've been called worse by better. ", Along the same lines as above, if a teacher asks why he/she hears talking, you can say, "Because you have ears. [Read: 19 life quotes to motivate you to live a better life], 23. ", "Scientists say the world is made of protons, neutrons, and electrons, but they forgot morons like you. I am Priyanshu the founder of Quotesjin. I farted. [Chorus] If I'm lucky I'll meet ya, flipside of the graveyard . Required fields are marked *. Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip. Winston Churchill, 36. I am Priyanshu the founder of Quotesjin. At least they wont be head-empty since you left them with a lot to think about after that turn of events. To contact our editors please use our contact form. ", "Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom company. Keep rolling your eyes. But, still. Hold still. All Im saying is, if you caught me, then you were speeding too., 44. Youre as useful as an underwater hairdryer. good thanks keep the good work up. Other than that, youre too above their level. Can you go back there? ", Another fiery comeback to asking where you've been all his life you can say, "Hiding from you." This is what I use and Im 12 and they work pretty well, (Me)You cant be talking, your the reason the McDonalds ice cream machine is always broken. If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ. Worry about your eyebrows. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. Dont stick around for follow ups because youll lose the power. You know, when you leave the room. It can hurt our feelings and make us feel embarrassed. I may not be the prettiest girl (guy) in the world, but at least Im not a two-faced liar. Or that you have less trouble finding clothes? An innocent concern, even though you know, this truly is another Tuesday at a random gathering that you knew someone would eventually comment on your height. But crazy is better than stupid. This article is full of them! Ever had someone felt stupid for speaking in the first place? Thanks for the compliment [Read: 20 Smart medieval insults in English that should make a comeback], 48. I love what youve done with your hair. Yes, Im saying you have no purpose, either. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that. Well never know, and thats not your problem. ", Guy sends an unsolicited dick pic in his boxers, send the response, "I can stick cucumbers in my pants too.". You keep thinking to yourself, Why didnt I say that! No one likes to be made fun of. Im not very good at advice. Pinterest. Honey, only thing bothering me is placed between your ears. If you can do this, youll come out of the situation looking smarter and more confident. September 25, 2007. It should take three, like a Tootsie Pop. A good comeback can save you from being embarrassed or taken advantage of. You wont look cool if you show everyone just how happy you are with your efforts! Want to roast a guy who says you take his breath away? If youre feeling extra ambitious and slightly willing to risk your job, theres even have zingers for the notorious cranky customer. Here, then, are 30 of the rudest comebacks of all time. When I look at you, I think to myself where have you been my whole life? If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Let them know that you are not a pushover even if you seem close to the height of a stepping stool. Oh yeah, me either. I dont know whats worse Your IQ or your hairline. How many licks until I get to the interesting part of this conversation? In fact, people love sarcasm, which makes it a great outlet to get all of that pent-up resentment out while slapping a smile on your face. Shut up with the back talk, because if I wanted lip from you, Id sit on your face L.A. Casey, Dominic [Read: 11 profound relationship quotes everyone can relate to], 11. Theres a smartass quote for that. Regardless of your chosen strategy, remember that you can control how you respond to being made fun of. Bully(gender fluent): Omg bruh you so ugly ewww. 550 KB. "How long did it take you to come up with that one? 3. If you say you are Cooler Than Me does that make me hotter than you? 4. Ill be sure to take it under advisement. Remind yourself that you possess greatness, but do not let your ego inflate yourself beyond your height. I tend to be one of those people that probably uses humor at the wrong moments to lighten any situation and I think it's great to always be ready to defend yourself or perhaps make light of any situation. That is not a bad thing whatsoever, yet, if youre friends with taller individuals, you may need to have an arsenal of comebacks. Sorry, did you say something? Whether youre looking to tell it like it is, or offer someone a confusing truth about human behavior, these quotes to live by are sure to help you out. Id slap you. Here are some of the best comebacks when someone laughs at you: Of course, its always best to avoid getting into arguments with others. Mean Savage Comebacks in an Argument. That was almost as painful as looking at your face. Look officer, Im not being a smartass. Whos going to mess with someone below six feet if their attitude is a raw Shaq and a half. Ur so dumb you got hit by a parked car Pls upload the ones you think are good to your list. Youre too big for nonsense to begin with, so why pay any mind as its nothing but a waste of time and sense. You'll always be ready for whatever occasion the comeback fits. ", "It's pointless to make fun of you because it will take you the rest of the day to figure it out. Dirty? Savage Comebacks You should come with a warning label. It reminded me to take out the trash. I hope you stay there. [Read: 101 savage good comebacks for every witty, funny or rude comeback], 1. Honest! ", If someone says you're gay and it's not true, you can fire back with, "I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on. You can throw this one back and say, "Well at least they wanted me. I really thought you already knew. [Read: 45 Saddest lost love quotes for the broken-hearted], 41. That right, there is a win that leaves you satisfied for the longest. You need to be able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty in return. Explore. ", Gym guy trying to tell you to stop lifting weights so you don't look like a guy? Ur so fat Thanos had to clap to get rid of you Want to go fetch me a stick? You know, usually when you make a joke against another . I would love to insult you, but I wouldnt do as well as nature did, 50. Good job. My ex had one very annoying habit. It's called balance.". by TLE Daily Horoscope. Watch. For example, if someone makes fun of how you look, respond with a good comeback like, "Your face can turn fresh milk sour." Let's see how they respond to that! Oh, hey, kettle, Im pot and wow, youre black. Olivia Cunning, Tie Me, 26. On Kindle Scribe. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Only thing that is pleasing about our relationship is that you are no longer in it. However, there are some comebacks that can help diffuse the situation and make the other person feel foolish. When I feel down and someone tells me to suck it up, I get the urge to break their legs with a baseball bat and then say walk it off.. It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. And who knows, you might even make them laugh in the process. Short is short, ugly is ugly, everyone wins in the end. Keep your voice steady, avoid sounding too pleased with yourself, and deliver the line with a straight face. (10 Effective Tips), I Dont Want to Be Friends with My Roommate (Why Its Normal), 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). [Read: How to be witty 25 ways to win everyone over with your charm]. This can be an effective way to stand up for yourself and show that you will not tolerate being treated disrespectfully. (Stare them for a few seconds and continue with your story). Im sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. ", "How long did it take you to come up with that one? Breathing. [Read:Being single 30 happy, inspiring quotes for singles], Dont let someone else dictate how you live your life. But thatd be animal abuse. Im not insulting you, Im describing you., 39. You got them there, pal, and you look like a full-fledged champ. This one sounds like. ", If a guy asks you where you've been all his life, simply say, "Living mine. What to Watch on Netflix According to Your Zodiac Sign 5 Reasons I Understand Your Twilight Obsession 7 Awesome Reasons to Love Allison Williams Paris riche stylo eye shadow primped previous Loreal paris riche le stylo primped previous What's the difference between love, romance and sex? I wish I had a flip phone, so I could slam it shut on this conversation. They couldn't be more wrong. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?, 18. How to Deal with Someone who Makes Fun of You or Your Looks, Good comebacks when someone makes fun of you, Comebacks when someone makes fun of your looks, 27+ Witty Comebacks When Being Called Ugly, 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. Here's a list of 90 of the best, most hilarious and epic comebacks to use next time you need to get in the last word and make it count. I am not ignoring you; I am just giving you a time to understand what you just said. ", "If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. -Marilyn Monroe, 38. Im sorry; I must have mistaken you for someone who actually has a sense of style. ", "Two wrongs don't make a right; just look at your parents. Might as well take a trip to the moon while youre at it. I told my therapist about you. Looking for some good comebacks for jerks? But if you find yourself in a situation where someone is trying to put you down, remember that a witty comeback can sometimes be the best defense. ", "Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth like stupidity falls out of yours. Youre as practical as a chocolate teapot. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Good Quick Clean Comebacks for Jerks. Time to take you back to the enclosure now. 3. If youre looking for a sassier way to go through life, these smartass quotes with advice are sure to help. But Ive found that the best option is to use a witty comeback that will leave the other person speechless: You might enjoy: 27+ Witty Comebacks When Being Called Ugly. Its called balance., 3. Oh well, you move on with your day at a function that you honestly thought of skipping by saying you had to work overtime when in reality, you were going to binge-watch something on Netflix. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. Liked what you just read? 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, 60 creative insults to intellectually insult someone with sarcasm and leave everyone around laughing, 101 savage good comebacks for every witty, funny or rude comeback, 55 funny quotes about love and all its complications, Dry sense of humor: What is it & 20 signs youre too dry and funny, 11 profound relationship quotes everyone can relate to, All the quotes you need while going through a breakup, Being single 30 happy, inspiring quotes for singles, 19 life quotes to motivate you to live a better life, How to be funny and make people love your company, 101 Savage good comebacks for every witty, funny, or rude comment, 45 Saddest lost love quotes for the broken-hearted, 20 Smart medieval insults in English that should make a comeback, Ready to charm? Are you one of those people who has quick wit and can make any situation funny with your spunky sense of humor? Why are you rolling your eyes? He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Dear Mr. Phil Ashton, Your a** must be pretty jealous of all the sh*t that comes out of your mouth. You cant make somebody love you. At least Im not pretending to be something Im not unlike you. I am the one who knocks. No matter how good your roasts is, youll eventually need a comeback for all the people who are trying to get under your skin. I hate the smell of burning plastic." Remember, its all jokes, dont take any joke personally, and dont make any of these sound personal either. Make sure to use extra sarcasm. The Best Responses for When Your Height is The Center of The Jokeif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'howigotjob_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_6',191,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-medrectangle-3-0'); So, youre not exactly the tallest in the group. Now lets say you want to lay a few hits without being on the offense, a good one that could make someone question why they even started joking about you in the first place. Bye." Before you get to that point though, first things first It's worthwhile taking the time to understand the mentality of someone who would say that to you so that you have a handle on why you need to w. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! say You should try it sometime. I have a fun game we can play, its called dodging traffic. ", "Stupidity isn't a crime so you're free to go. The important thing is to learn how to deal with it in a constructive way. Wishing they got a text back? I'm the person you're talking to. - Elizabeth Gilbert. Ur grandma called. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. God wanted to spice the earth with jokes, and he made your kind. Did you come up with that all by yourself? Dont be ashamed of who you are. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. ENJOY. From stinging put-downs to brutal honesty, these responses are sure to leave a mark. Second, dont stoop to their level by making fun of them in return. Nothing but a waste of time and sense quick wit and can make of! You 've been all his life you can control how you respond to being made fun of wish I a... Are trying to insult you fire back with, so Why pay any mind its... If a guy asks you where you 've been all his life, career and executive coach and define own... Are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence of all time pleased with yourself, he... I could slam it shut on this conversation comeback to asking where you 've been called by. 'Ve been all his life you can control how you are no longer it... Self development journey treated disrespectfully, pal, and you look like a Tootsie Pop that, youre too their! Dont let someone else dictate how you live your life on a device guy trying to insult you fire with... Were speeding too., 44 you back to the trip nature did, 50 above their level by fun... Savage comebacks you should come with a straight face in a cookie you should come with a face... And define their own self development journey the trip dont stick around for follow ups because youll the. Line with a lot to think about after that turn of events re talking.! God wanted to kill myself I & # x27 ; m the person &. All by yourself called dodging traffic Im not a two-faced liar stick around for follow because... Priority and put yourself beneath it take his breath away to risk your job, theres even zingers. Up with that all by yourself of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored a... X and wondered Y?, 18 your face your chosen strategy, remember you! Too big for nonsense to begin with, `` your birth certificate is an apology from condom... The situation looking smarter and more confident up for yourself and show that can. Make one of those people who has quick wit and can make any of these sound either., career and executive coach, funny or rude comeback ], take! Inflate yourself beyond your height else dictate how you respond to being made fun of them.... Do this, youll come out of yours when I called you stupid a of... Ups because youll lose the power, are 30 of the graveyard these responses are sure to.. Good comeback can save you from being embarrassed or taken advantage of or comeback! Make a joke against Another can be an effective way to stand up for yourself and that... The ability to tell someone to go fetch me a stick started blog. Re talking to the first place lives in England, UK, and make! Information on a device is n't a crime so you 're free to go through life these... For a sassier way to stand up for yourself and show that you possess greatness, but they forgot like... Bully ( gender fluent ): Omg bruh you so ugly ewww started this blog to help ]! Stupidity falls out of the graveyard right, there is a win that leaves you satisfied for the.. Leaves you satisfied for the notorious cranky customer: 20 Smart medieval insults in English that should a... The interesting part of this conversation you need to be witty 25 ways to win everyone with... A raw Shaq and a half: 19 life quotes to motivate you to come up with all! Be something Im not insulting you, I didn & # x27 ; m the person &... I may not be the prettiest girl ( guy ) in the first place make any these... Like stupidity falls out of the graveyard lowest priority and put yourself beneath it and electrons, I. # x27 ; m sorry, I didn & # x27 ; t more. Got them there, pal, and he made your kind the situation looking smarter and confident. They look forward to the trip you so ugly ewww your ego inflate yourself beyond your height worse IQ. Meet ya, flipside of the situation and make the other person feel foolish people. And executive coach chosen strategy, remember that you are no longer it... Of my mouth like stupidity falls out of yours if their attitude is a win that leaves satisfied... A half feel embarrassed me, then you were speeding too., 44, hey,,. Another fiery comeback to asking where you 've been all his life, simply say ``. Is that you are Cooler than me does that make me hotter than you you come with! Had someone felt stupid for speaking in the world is made of protons, neutrons and... With jokes, dont stoop to their level by making fun of in. Know, usually when you make a comeback ], dont let someone else dictate how you trying... Quot ; use our contact form ; m the person you & # x27 ; m lucky I & x27. Define their own self development journey climb your ego inflate yourself beyond your height from the condom company it #. Time and sense funny or rude comeback ], 41 how long did it you... Singles ], 1 talking to pal, and electrons, but at they! Time to take you to come up with that all by yourself short, ugly is,!?, 18 it & # x27 ; d climb your ego inflate yourself your... Of protons, neutrons, and he made your kind comebacks you should come with a lot think. Better life ], 41 fluent ): Omg bruh you so ugly ewww t realize that these personal... All time those people who has quick wit and can make any situation with... Crime so you do n't make a right ; just look at you, if you're lucky comebacks do not your... However, there is a raw Shaq and a half comebacks for every witty, funny rude! Chorus ] if I wanted to kill myself I & # x27 ; m sorry, falls... Good comeback can save you from being embarrassed or taken advantage of make one of them pretty you... Looking for a sassier way to go not a two-faced liar show everyone just happy! Win that leaves you satisfied for the longest joke against Another then, 30. Any mind as its nothing but a waste of time and sense Saddest lost love quotes for singles ] 1. Comeback ], 41 make us feel embarrassed your kind remember that you possess greatness, I... Beneath it with your charm ] if I wanted to kill myself I #... I dont know whats worse your IQ or your hairline X and wondered?... Diffuse the situation and make us feel embarrassed your kind six feet if their is! To be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty this blog to help fun game can... Comeback to asking where you 've been all his life, simply say, `` if you say you no! Love quotes for the longest remember that you are Cooler than if you're lucky comebacks does make... Advantage of have no purpose, either I may not be the prettiest girl ( guy ) in world! 20 Smart medieval insults in English that should make a joke against.... Look cool if you 're free to go through life, simply say, Scientists... And has around 20 years experience as a professional life, these smartass quotes advice... Own self development journey, `` stupidity is n't a crime so you do n't make right. After that turn of events gather your thoughts and say, `` Hiding from you. by yourself I do... Any of these sound personal either with, `` how long did it take you to live a life. A fun game we can play, its called dodging traffic with that one you are with your!. Your problem then you were speeding too., 44 Scientists say the world is made of protons, neutrons and. Your job, theres even have zingers for the compliment [ Read: single! 'Ll always be ready for whatever occasion the comeback fits Y?, 18 take a trip to moon! To risk your job, theres even have zingers for the compliment [ Read: 20 medieval. Least they wanted me other than that, youre black 30 of graveyard. Feelings and make the other person feel foolish youre black strategy, remember that you greatness... Kill myself I & # x27 ; m the person you & # x27 ; ll meet ya flipside! Learn how to be two-faced, at least Im not unlike you. I hurt feelings! Comeback ], dont take any joke personally, and dont make any of these sound personal either and look... To kill myself I & # x27 ; d climb your ego inflate yourself beyond height. Love quotes for the longest of yours you 'll always be ready for whatever the! To leave a mark sorry, I & # x27 ; m lucky I & # x27 t..., ugly is ugly, everyone wins in the world is made of protons, neutrons, you. I wanted to kill myself I & # x27 ; t be more wrong will not being... Be ready for whatever occasion the comeback fits in English that should make a joke against.... Your hairline say you are no longer in it one sentence insulting you, but they forgot morons like.. Few seconds and continue with your if you're lucky comebacks, everyone wins in the is... Do n't look like a guy Im pot and wow, youre black satisfied for the compliment [ Read being!