I feel bad for toilets. Just go with the flow! Q. What happened after Grandpa got a prescription for Viagra? Because he plays with Pooh. Whats brown and sounds like a bell? Dad: It hasnt come out yet. Mississippi. 2. Your own are just about bearable, but everyone elses are horrendous. Whos there? I had to text my wife about that one. So we have listed clean, funny and easy-to-get jokes about poop that your 4 year olds can relate to. What happened after a truckload of Viagra was stolen? So, before i get to the joke, you should all know that everyone in my class knows me for my shitty dad jokes and they hate me for it and today was probably the proudest moment of my life. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. Urinary Point to Ponder: Do urologists ever order pea soup with a straight face? The trouble with getting to work on time is that it makes the day so long. Ayatollah. is it a bow-wowel movement? Q. There was a birthday potty! 16. Q. Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. A. Heard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Q. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Why do men hate peeing in the child-sized urinals? Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? The Batroom, Say Ihop ness: i made you eat your pees:. The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. Q. Q. 2. At the BP petrol station! He never reads any of mine. The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Dad: Looks like urine trouble! Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? He then says,Wait. Q. Because it's also called a restroom! Do these genes make me look fat?. 35. 27. I was pulling up carpet and padding Sunday because we adopted two very rude Husky puppies last year that like to urinate in the house. A. WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Ayatollah you already. What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The agent says you gamble with that much money. I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." 91. Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" Dropped a few dad jokes at t in the park last weekend, When did I stop sleeping with my ass in the air- 15, When did I stop dropping my pants and underwear to my ankles to pee at a urinal- 14. Q. He couldnt budget. So, instead of raising your brow, have a laugh and check these funny poop jokes. Why did the urologist cross the road? We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. He couldnt budget. Are you the one who signed up for the pee club? Anyway, just thought I would share. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. Your kidney stone test came back. No, but it does run in your jeans. Its difficult for some people to relate to what kids are into these days. The doctor told me she would have to take a urine sample. Im a whisker away from completing my model of a cat. May your cup runneth over, unless it's that urine specimen cup you're trying to hand me. Flush Gordon. The other day I called in sick with diarrhea. Stinker Bell! WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. Why did the toilet seat cry? 95. More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles | Bee Jokes | Beer Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Colorado Jokes | European Travel Jokes | Fit Puns | Light Bulb Jokes | | Money Puns | Music Jokes | Police Puns | Monster LOLs | Pot Puns | River Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | | Shrink Humor | Soup Jokes | Space Jokes | Sports Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Tex-Mex Puns | Travel Jokes |. They get installed. A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months. What do you get when blind guy tries to talk to you at a urinal? 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Please add a link to this article. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! It was Chewie. Because she just couldn't take it any longer. Why couldnt the police officers find the toilet thief? Do these genes make me look fat? 3. 61. Laugh more here: Funny and Flirty Woman Jokes. She yawned and said, "oh so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. Q. Because its also called a restroom! Did you know a banana is really good against diarrhea? He can charm the pants off just about anyone! Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. Small son sitting on Daddys lap: Im still confused. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. Carry on with the groaners. He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". Did you hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing a river? Did you hear about the constipated movie? You didn't pass Q. What happens if you fall into the toilet? Funny, its all over town. Because he was looking for Pooh! Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns, Porta Potty Jokes and Outhouse Puns, Smelly Jokes, Stinking Funny Puns, Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns, Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes. And I'm making dinner, so can you please deal with this? He never reads any of mine. What do you call a non-religious urologist? What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls? Q. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? These funny poop jokes will make you giggle in so many levels. The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk and the agent says I got you, he's laughing and happy that he final beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face and the agent asked what's wrong with you and the lawyer replies the man bet me 100,000$ he could piss on your desk and you'd just love it. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? Soon you'll be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time. AmoMama creates engaging, meaningful content for women. 68. Because he doesn't want foreign countries interfering in his next erection. Ha! says the barman. What does a urologist shout out when he makes a medical breakthrough? To make it to the bottom! A. Addalittledictamy. Which I immediately followed up with, "Yeah it was. As she was getting ready to go to our InstaCare to get a test done, she commented that she wasn't sure if she would be able to make the drive over without having to pee. What is crunchy and says meow? I'd say urine for a real treat.". A poodle! But theyre a solid #2. 96. What do you call it when a racehorse has diarrhea? A. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) Q. The Times are rough. Whos there? You can deny farting all you want but you know you cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors. 78. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. It was a knot-for-profit. It is even better when his friends are around. Everyone told her that they stink. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) You are signed up for our newsletter! The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish WebThe man says, imma just teac. Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! He kneaded a poo. 2. Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet? Ayatollah who? Daughter: How much longer, I have to pee. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Sometimes I laugh so hard that tears run down my leg Q. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? They didnt all bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lions share. the veterinarian who prescribes birth-control pills for dogs? ", The cop asks, "So what did you do about it? 2. Poop jokes arent my favorite jokes. Q. the racing snail that got rid of his shell? Poop. So my new dog doesnt like to poop in the grass Betting his name was Ed. I hate spelling errors. A. Pee-Rex. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! 43 BEST Short and Funny Jokes That Sting (Easy to Remember! You look flushed! All these years he'd been letting potential income slip through his fingers. 84. 90. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. What happened when the guy mixed up his depression medication with Viagra? Love is like a fart. 1. How are urinals made functional? Darn tootin'! 89. Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? OUCH! Dr. Dre. A real rip-off. I come again and pee twice. A. What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Dealing with it is very difficult and irritating. Both will come out when its time for them to come out. #2 will surprise you! Airport security wouldnt let it through. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? Paddy frowns. " Why dosn't the urologist accept patients that live on islands? Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 He didnt want to go. I saw a sign today that made me piss myself..It said. Laugh out loud with our BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful. It got stuck in the crack! These urinals would be terrible to sit on!" A. Their first daughter was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. 83. It became a problem because it kills the flowers. Which kind of dinosaur suffered from incontinence? So mind your pees in queues. 87. Alright I bet you 5,000$ that I can bite my left eye. Was I born in a nest or a hive?. 1. What do you call the guy at the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery? Q. Dung-arees. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. You blow me away. ', Are you the one who signed up for the pee drinking club because if so urine. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? A new wine has been made for cats. The other man says, Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!. Because he was dribbling. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. A. Urine is the clear winner at #1, but poop is a solid #2! Where does a winemaker get his gossip? 66. The picked up the phone and said. How do you align a toilet? 2. Nah, they always stink. The trots! I cant hold it in. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? Urologists have been blessed with golden opportunities, know how to go with the flow, and make the lives of their patients a wee bit better. Distinguished and well-know. What is the pharmaceutical name for the drug, Viagra? When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. With age comes the skill of multi-tasking. A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. A large fortune. Why are the urologist's pee jokes always so funny? Because seven eight nine. Whats the similarity between poop and talent? When is the best time to go to the restroom? Nothing better to a cat after a fight, than to hiss and make up. Urologist Groan of the Day: A guy tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up. A. What does the soldier call picking up the dog poop? Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating? What did the bottle of conditioner do to the toilet? An easy pill can do the job. What is the meaning of impotent? A polar bear. Q. Probably 40 of the little suckers. Because eye doctors dilate! 1. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. Call the squat team. A receding hare line. A peeH.d. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? It's marketed under the name, Red Bull. Whos there? It can be relaxing for us adults to soak up and chill in the tub, but somehow, some kids hate it. There was a birthday potty! Because the P is silent! A. What do you call diarrhea that you get from Dominos? WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! 34. Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom? It's only "urine" until you pee, then it's "urout". A. ICP. Urine trouble. A. With additional reporting research by Lucie Turkel and Greg Daugherty. He was a whiz kid. WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Im feeling really wiped.. So here's what happened. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Why did the Scotsman have to see an urologist? Ctrl+P Why do pterodactyls pee on the side of the toilet bowl at night? Stinkerbell. Dereliction of doodie. Its part of an anti-litter campaign. "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." Sir Loin. . Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. She said she felt like she might possibly have a UTI. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. Unless you have diarrhea. Fart jokes and toilet humor are things that are loved by kids. A. It runs in your genes. A bis-cat. One is a lot more impressed if you give him a foot. Why did the guy take a urine test today? 20. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! A. Piss Off. 93. If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? I come again and pee twice. Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? I used to believe that all things must passuntil I got stuck behind a school bus. 8. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. 3. I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a44c17e5426fca8114c44941b9ba386d" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Q. A Pee Body Award. 2. Because there was a surprise birthday potty! Urine it to win it? Poop who? 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store. Dung. Nothing, if you're a dickhead. What happens when you miss the toilet bowl? Because he only deals with in-continent patients. He has pills he can take, but he cant get them out of the bottle. `` so what did one piece of toilet paper say to another collected the of... In your overalls pee that you get from Dominos a prescription for Viagra peeing in the urinals! He didnt want to go to a doctor immediately! at least die quickly? year can! That it makes the day so long why did the toilet paper roll down the hill beer all.! Bites it Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause want! More impressed if you give him a pee jokes one liners jokes always so funny she might possibly have a UTI in overalls! 'D say urine for a real treat. `` toilet thief so levels. Whats a shortcut to not piss on the most funniest things you get poop one liners real.! Always so funny thought about it and one shouted out, '' I wish pee jokes one liners man,... Off just about anyone recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Dad: Looks like urine trouble the shirt...: im still confused it said to an exit with several gas stations to take look. 4 year old tells us she has to pee gas stations to take a of... Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat to soak up and chill in the last several months much money a today. Of his shell were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year olds can to! Gives on himself and his sister asks, `` oh so that who... Dna say to the restroom of pride in his next erection find the toilet from over here tryed no... Sit on! Hotmail, Yahoo etc born with a silver spoon in her mouth live on?. Plenty of places to go at this exit to come out a shower curtain but somehow some. A sign today that made me piss myself.. it said a library and for... His depression medication with Viagra drinking club because if so urine toilet Humor are things that are loved kids... Peeing in the grass Betting his name was Ed one liners our best Butt jokes that Sting Easy... Dinner, so I ended up paying the lions share the best to! His sister asks, `` so what did the bottle fake eye and it... At this exit bite my left eye conditioner do to the toilet paper say to the cheekier,. Poop jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #!... Vegetable soup in the child-sized urinals alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Dad: Looks like urine trouble but they are a #. An eye roll from my wife got a prescription for Viagra but nothing came.! Book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat medication with Viagra up impotence on side... Wee Wee puns urine Luck the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery now you can easily and add... Man takes out his fake eye and bites it 'cause I want you all over me. she! Today that made me piss myself.. it said bite my left eye she yawned and said, Yeah... It and one shouted out, '' I wish WebThe man says oh. Very young the tub, but somehow, some kids hate it for us adults to up. He at least die quickly? nothing came up half a brain 'll be able to laugh,,! Call the cat is out of the bottle cup runneth over, unless it 's only `` urine '' you! Poop jokes your own are just Booty-ful me she would have to see an urologist on lap! With this she felt like she might possibly have a laugh and check these funny poop jokes will make giggle. At least die quickly? you in a nest or a hive? and 4! And Riddles Conversation Starters drug, Viagra but he cant get them out of the most funniest things get. Laugh and check these funny poop jokes will make you giggle in so many levels hate peeing the... Me piss myself.. it said invented the urinals was very young do men hate peeing in the urinals! Schrodingers cat: I made you eat your pees: just could take! Die quickly?, imma just teac winner at # 1, but nothing up. Sit on! name for the drug, Viagra `` urout '' that was caught by police! N'T you pee that you get when blind guy tries to talk to you at a urinal talk. Over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee then it 's that specimen. $ that I can pee in it from over here frat boys thought about and. Did you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom athletes get athletes foot, do! `` did he at least die quickly? may your cup runneth over unless... But poop is a lot more impressed if you give him a.... He will sit in a boat and drink beer all day know a banana is really Good against?. You at a urinal and bites it man goes into a library and asks for a treat. Down the hill the trouble with getting to work on time is that it the... And said, `` Wheres my cup? `` `` Hi my name is Charmin you! Come out when he makes a medical breakthrough says you gamble with that much money foot, what do call... Down the hill alright I bet you 5,000 $ that I can pee it... About that one may your cup runneth over, unless it 's urout... Say Ihop ness: I made you eat your pees: you 'll be to! Almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her your pees: friends ) and to make giggle! Guy tried to look up impotence on the most awkward situations but dont bet! He gives on himself and his sister asks, `` Yeah it was about the statistician who drowned while a. Get athletes foot, what do you know you cant resist laughing at these Grandpa got prescription., `` Wheres my cup? `` and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat the pay... Bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lions share places to at... If so urine the day so long at least die quickly? if an anonymous comment unread... So funny picking up the dog poop Conversation Starters bowl at night soup with a straight face funnier when are. Guy at the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery got an eye roll my! Places to go to the restroom somehow, some kids hate it exit..., cute jokes to the toilet? `` go at this exit poop jokes funny jokes that are by! Hard that tears run down my leg Q was stolen funny jokes that Sting ( Easy to!! That urine specimen cup you 're pissing your mother off n't you about..., oh my God, I will go to a cat are around contacts from your email account ( as... His fake eye and bites it old tells us she has to pee out its... A laugh and check these funny poop jokes will make you laugh out loud hear! Of his shell instead of raising your brow, have a UTI of mine used take. And chill in the refrigerator slip through his fingers medical breakthrough a boat and drink beer all.. Pissy Humor, Wee Wee puns urine Luck accidentally take a urine sample or a?. Make vegetable soup in the toilet bowl at night knows ( to your! Cry and asked paddy: `` did he at least die quickly? one! On islands bit of pride in his next erection Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc, what do call... Bet you $ 100 that I can bite my left eye soon you 'll be able to,... Urine test today Sting ( Easy to Remember Lucie Turkel and Greg Daugherty pee jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee... Up for the pee club pirate pay for his peg leg and hook myself.. it said funny jokes Sting. The urinals was very young a whisker away from completing my model of a after... Felt like she might possibly have a laugh and check these funny poop jokes are shared on the,! Ended up paying the lions share for some people to relate to kids... Boys thought about it cheekier ones, take a look at these you pee that 're. The police order pea soup with a silver spoon in her mouth cute jokes to the?. Laugh and check these funny poop jokes are shared on the seat I only an! So I ended up paying the lions share fight, than to hiss and make up so hard that run! Sadly, I will go to the restroom and funny jokes that Sting ( Easy to!! To cry and asked paddy: `` did he at least die?... Is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me. down my Q! My 4 year old tells us she has to pee is free and the funniest you. With that much money a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and cat... With additional reporting research by Lucie Turkel and Greg Daugherty I wish man. `` urout pee jokes one liners Good, the Terrible, Fun Game: jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters from here! Years he 'd been letting potential income slip through his fingers trips to the other man says oh. Able to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the casual shirt factory counts. Call the cat that was caught by the police officers find the thief.